Abstinence

what are the best options to prevent pregnancy without using condom or contraceptive pills ?

The most effective options to prevent pregnancy are what we call Long Acting Reversible Contraceptives, or LARCs. These methods include IUDs and the Implant, both of which are over 99% effective. IUDs are effective anywhere from 3 – 12 years (depending on the kind of IUD), and the Implant is effective for 3 years. A medical provider inserts the method and then you don’t have to remember to take a pill or anything– both methods can be removed by a medical provider at any time.

Abstinence or “not right now” is also an option for preventing pregnancy. If you practice abstinence 100% of the time, it will be 100% effective– though it requires willpower. It’s a good idea to have a back-up plan (like condoms and/or Emergency Contraception) if abstinence is your birth control of choice.

Other methods such as the shot, ring, and patch can also be very effective. They require a little more maintenance than an IUD or Implant– you’ll have to think about them once a week (patch), once a month (ring), or every three months (shot)–but that is still easier for some people than taking a pill every day.

Keep in mind that none of these methods protect against STDs, so unless you and your partner have both been tested (and treated, if necessary), using condoms to prevent STDs is still important.

how do i get to know that my gf is a virgin?

There’s really only one way you get to know if your girlfriend is a virgin: you can ask her. But please only ask respectfully, and be okay with it if she doesn’t want to tell you. It’s a very personal question and NO ONE is obligated to tell another person about their sexual or personal lives.

Virginity means different things to different people, and because there are many different activities that can be considered “sex,” your definition and hers (and ours) might be different. This could be a good opportunity to have an open and honest conversation about sex, sexuality, and relationships. If you approach the conversation with respect and without judgment, you may both learn a lot about each other.

There’s no way to tell whether someone is a virgin through physical exams, by looking at their body, or by their behavior. While there is sometimes cultural meaning attached to virginity, it actually doesn’t mean anything– good or bad– about a person. It just means that they have or have not been sexually active before.

 

How can I tell my friends that I want to wait to have sex? I feel like they’re pressuring me to do it.

Waiting to have sex is the safest option to prevent pregnancy and STDs. And it’s a choice many teens are making. Pressure from friends is never a good reason to have sex. And truly good friends will respect and support your personal decision to wait.

If — in the future — you change your mind about having sex, the next safest choice is to use a latex condom every time you have sex. Better yet, make sure you or your partner uses birth control along with condoms.

If I go down on my boyfriend, am I still being abstinent?

A common definition of abstinence is not having anal, oral, or vaginal sex with another person. Going down on your partner is another term for having oral sex. So, by definition, the answer to your question is no.

There is no universal definition of abstinence, so you may want to think about how you define it and decide on your own sexual boundaries based on that. Talk with your partner about your definition of abstinence and what you want from your relationship.

It’s important to remember that STDs can be transmitted through oral sex. Using a condom on a male or cutting a condom in half so it can cover the vulva on a female is the safest way to have oral sex.

Why can’t teens be strong and learn how to say NO?

Hmmm, you raise an interesting question.

Since this is a teen sexual health website, let’s assume you’re asking about why teens have sex instead of practicing abstinence.

Sexuality is a natural, integral part of being alive and people have very different reasons for choosing whether and when to be sexually active. Many teens choose to be abstinent, to not have sex, until they are older and feel more ready. That’s a perfectly good decision. Likewise, deciding to have sex doesn’t necessarily mean a person is weak. It might be the result of a carefully thought out decision-making process.

If a teen does say ‘yes’ to having sex, it’s important to know all about STDs and birth control before becoming sexually active.

Why do lots of teens have sex when they’re so young instead of living their life as teens? They won’t have to worry about diseases or pregnancy, so why do it?

You raise an interesting question.

Since this is a teen sexual health website, let’s assume you’re asking about why teens have sex instead of practicing abstinence.

Sexuality is a natural, integral part of being alive and people have very different reasons for choosing whether and when to be sexually active. Many teens choose to be abstinent, to not have sex, until they are older and feel more ready. That’s a perfectly good decision. Likewise, deciding to have sex doesn’t necessarily mean a person is weak. It might be the result of a carefully thought out decision-making process.

If a teen does say ‘yes’ to having sex, it’s important to know all about STDs and birth control before becoming sexually active.

Why do people say pregnancy is such a bad thing?! I mean, yes, when you’re a teen it might be difficult, but what if you’re a married adult. Don’t you have to get pregnant to have kids?! I’m so confused…without our mums getting pregnant..we would be here, so why does everyone say ALWAYS use protection.

There’s nothing bad about pregnancy; it’s a very common way for people to become parents. Our goal is to help people prevent pregnancy until they feel ready to have a child.

Because becoming pregnant and having a child as a teen is especially challenging, we place special emphasis on helping teens delay pregnancy and childbearing. We would never tell someone they should NEVER get pregnant and have children.

We help and advise people to use birth control UNTIL they are feeling ready to plan a pregnancy.  And when a person is feeling ready, we also help with planning for a healthy pregnancy.

 

what is the average age of teen sex?

On average, young people have intercourse for the first time around age 17 (we don’t know as much about the age when people start other kinds of sexual activities or start same-sex activity, though). Seventeen is just an average, and different people will be ready at different ages. No one should feel pressure to have sex because other people their age are having sex, and no one should feel bad about being sexually active if their peers are waiting.

Once a person feels ready to start having sex, there are a few really important things to think about. First, you should feel personally ready and able to freely consent to any activity– it’s never okay for someone to pressure you into sex. It’s also important to figure out what you’ll use for birth control and STD protection BEFORE you start having sex.

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